A Link To The Past
Sonic For Hire: A Link To The Past is the tenth episode of the seventh season of the Sonic For Hire series and is the eighty-eighth episode overall. In this episode, Sonic and co. encounter Link to to continue their quest to find The Creator. Plot Sonic and the gang have arrived outside a house in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, apparently looking for Link. Sonic debates whether to ring the doorbell or use the knocker. Tails states that he thinks doorknockers are dumb, since he may never hear it, and advises Sonic to ring the bell. Eggman mentions that he's excited to see Link again, since he's always in such a good mood. Tails bursts Eggman's bubble by mentioning that he hates Link. They've gone to A Link to the Past to find Young Link, since he has all of the questing skills, but none of the sass. As Tails rings the bell, Young Link steps out. Young Link is revealed to be quite depressed. Tails asks Young Link if he can help the guys in their quest. Young Link despondently agrees, causing Sonic to question what exactly is wrong with Link. Jim clarifies that the Link they're talking to is Young Link, who's depressed because he hasn't come out of the closet yet, and revealed who he truly is. Sonic seems to understand, then asks for clarification. Jim tells him that Link is gay, alerting Sonic. Suddenly, Young Link's Uncle runs out, disgusted by what he's hearing. Young Link's Uncle vows to keep his nephew from becoming a "rupee-biter". Young Link tries to explain the situation to his uncle, but his uncle has none of it. He threatens Young Link that he had better not be gay, lest he turn him straight "the hard way", evidenced by him thrusting repeatedly, confusing Eggman. Modern Link dashes into the scene, attempting to attack his asshole of an uncle, but is easily held back. Sonic sticks up for him by shooting his Uncle with his gun, causing his body to disappear in a puff of smoke. Link thanks the guys, then proceeds to give his past self his phone, telling him to play with Grindr until he figures shit out. With that problem out of the way, Link asks if anyone wants margaritas. Tails refuses margaritas, and mentions that the guys need his help for the quest to find the Creator. The Hero of Time is always up for a quest, but mentions that they need something first. Tails immediately says that they don't need margaritas. Link denies the accusations of margaritas, suggesting that they needed "cosmopalatinis". Since those aren't a real thing, he accepts margaritas, and much like his debut appearance, everyone goes insane. The scene transitions to a bar, where Sonic drunkenly tells Link of how Tails hates knockers. Upon hearing this, Link thinks that Tails is gay, calling him the "Big Gay Fox". Sonic and crew love the new nickname, as they chant it repeatedly. Tails asks Link to help them find the Creator, since they were previously given bad directions and now need to get back on the right track. Link asks the guys why they even want to find the Creator anyway. Tails mentions that this Creator thing has been fucking with them since the universe was rebuilt and they want to know why. Jim mentions that they also hate their lives and want to find something better to do. Eggman mentions that he doesn't have to wear pants on a quest. Sonic, on the other hand, gives a not just a reason, but a soliloquy. He needs to know if there's something bigger out there, since he and his friends have already done everything that they could possibly do. If there isn't a larger presence behind this, Sonic mentions how he won't know if he can go on, and vows to pull the plug on the console and end it all. Link, his heartstrings thoroughly tugged, agrees to give them the clue... if Tails gives him a kiss. Tails immediately objects, reminding Link that he is not gay. Link tells Tails that just one kiss isn't considered gay, as his friends egg him on. Tails finally agrees, but just as he is about to plant one on Link's cheek, Link recoils away, calling Tails a hooker since he was about to kiss someone in exchange for something. Tails becomes enraged and demands the clue. Link finally relents, and admits that he doesn't know the entire clue, but does remember a part about "ignoring the mountains, to get to the cliff". Satisified, the guys leave, but not before Link tells Tails that he said "mountains" and not "knockers", causing everyone to once again call him "Big Gay Fox". Eggman notices that Link is not coming with them. Link tells him that after seeing the inner turmoil of his younger self, he was reminded that he had a duty to fufill. And that duty is... to turn this bar into the gayest party town in the universe, as a large number of The Legend of Zelda characters and himself get down on the dance floor to a remix of Bad Romance. Sonic says goodbye to Link, mentioning that they'll always have the (stolen) Triforce to remember him by. Tails closes the episode by mentioning that while Sonic for Hire's ''side characters may be weird, at least they know how to make an exit. Character Appearances *Sonic the Hedgehog *Miles "Tails" Prower *Earthworm Jim *Dr. Eggman *Young Link (debut) *Young Link's uncle (debut) *Link Transcript ''To be added. Video To be uploaded. Trivia *When Eggman talks about not wearing pants when questing, Earthworm Jim's mouth is moving, but he doesn't speak any lines. Category:Episodes Category:Season 7 Category:Character Introduction